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Bloke Called Dave

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Labyrinth

Solving The Labyrinth

Posted on March 20, 2021March 31, 2021 by David Lee Stone

During one of the worst years of my childhood, my mum returned from a hospital stay literally wreathed in pain. She’d had a hysterectomy, but something had gone wrong at the end of the operation and all I really remembered from that Winter was constantly turning up the music on my walkman to drown out the sounds of her sobbing in the bathroom. It was a grim, terrifying time: being an only child, you have a certain amount of fear tied up in the fact that there’s really just the two of you: my nan was a borderline alcoholic, and could really only be relied upon to provide unpredictable problems whenever she came back from the pubs.

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The Fear of Cats

The Fear of Cats (Confessions of a Scaredy Cat)

Posted on March 20, 2021March 30, 2021 by David Lee Stone

It would be easy to say that I don’t like cats and cats don’t like me but it’s just nowhere near as simple as that. The war between the cat kingdom and myself began – as many things do – in a pub.

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American Gods

American Gods and Blaming (Neil) Gaiman

Posted on March 20, 2021March 30, 2021 by David Lee Stone

Then it happened. I was at an airport, getting ready to fly out to Italy, when a friend called me and said: ‘What do you think of Neil Gaiman?’

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terry pratchett

Terry Pratchett and Me

Posted on March 20, 2021March 30, 2021 by David Lee Stone

I first read the Discworld novel Eric by Terry Pratchett when I was twelve years old. I was a huge fan of Fighting Fantasy, and I’d gone into town to get the 50th FF book, Retun to Firetop Mountain, but they’d put the price up to £3.99 and I only had £2.99 in my pocket. That meant I either had to go home and spend a Saturday on my own with nothing to entertain me, or I was going to need to find a book to read: an actual book.

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Ramsgate Pleasurama

The Incident (…at Ramsgate Pleasurama)

Posted on March 19, 2021 by David Lee Stone

The year is 1991, and I am sitting in the manager’s office of Ramsgate’s old Pleasurama arcade, accused of trying to steal cars in the car park. My best friend, Russ, is sitting beside me: he’s accused, too. We have been in the office, waiting for the police to arrive, for around twenty minutes….but it feels like we’ve been there for hours.

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The Granville Ramsgate

Legends of The Granville Hotel

Posted on March 18, 2021 by David Lee Stone

Dominating the Ramsgate skyline, the Granville Hotel is now a (mostly) restored and beautifully unusual landmark. To those of us who grew up in the 80s, however, it will always be that half collapsed old ruin with Dracula’s Castle rising out of the end, sticking one MASSIVE middle finger up at the sky. I’m serious, back in the 80s, the rumours were strong: there were things in the basement at the Granville that would snatch you out of the dark and wicked old ladies in the tower offering you tea and biscuits before hitting you over the head with a twenty pound lump-hammer.

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Legover Jack

Legover Jack

Posted on March 17, 2021March 16, 2021 by David Lee Stone

When I was growing up, I had a lot of ‘Uncles’. Now, I’m not saying my mum slept around: she didn’t (as far as I know), but our house was always full of people who liked to drink….often at the expense of a new suit. I’m not blaming them: I like to drink, too….but I tend to stop if I begin to fill my trousers before I can get to the toilet.

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Granny's Relish

Granny’s Relish

Posted on March 17, 2021 by David Lee Stone

It’s Saturday morning, and both my kids are at a local birthday party: I’m not going, because it’s a Two Party Saturday and I’ve pulled the late shift. I’ll be at Jungle Jim’s tonight, watching all the sweaty midgets get high on e-numbers before bedtime. It’s no big deal: I’m used to it. What I’m not used to is making lunch at my nan’s house. My nan lives very close to the location of the party, so I’ve escaped to get a convenient bite to eat…except it’s not turning out to be convenient. In fact, it’s proving practically bloody impossible.

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Above and Below

Above and Below

Posted on March 16, 2021March 30, 2021 by David Lee Stone

Above and Below isn’t just a fantasy game with a few odd kinks: it’s a personally defining and beautifully rare gaming experience that holds up a mirror and shows you who you really are. What kind of leader would you be? Does your moral compass tend to swing south at the first sign of profit? How would you cope when faced with the opportunity to help someone in trouble? Would you leap to the heroic defence of a victim when they’re at their lowest point or leap in and steal their shoes while their guard is down?

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the sloth workout

The Sloth Workout

Posted on March 16, 2021 by David Lee Stone

“Ah, young Mr Stone – do come in.”
“Thanks, Doc!”
“You look good.”
“Thanks! I feel great!”
“Indeed. Do take a seat. Now….um…..your mother tells me you’ve lost six stone in two months?”

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Instagram

Sometimes, I make big mistakes…..but they’re never my fault: not really. Here’s an example, so you can judge for yourself.
Do you want to see what depression looks like? I recently found this video I shot while experiencing one of the worst bouts of depression I’ve endured in recent years. It’s almost funny to see how dead in the eyes I am until the light comes on and I engage robot mode in order to speak. The content of the video isn’t really important. Oh - and my wife is AMAZING. ❤️🤦‍♂️
Nostalgia can be a curse and to prove it I’ve created a list of ten times in my life that I made a decision I’ve always slightly regretted. This is a really important thing to do and if you’re going to do it right then you have to be constructive and try to determine whether in all probability you’re either right or wrong in each case. I’m serious. If the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions, then I strongly suspect that the Path to Dissatisfaction is paved with overly nostalgic memories, especially ones involving missed opportunities. If you’re autistic, an over-thinker or even just an unusually reflective person, then retrospective analysis is probably a huge part of your mental landscape. In simple terms, retrospective analysis is where you overplay conversations in your head after the event, often applying your own biased narrative to anything that was said. What you end up coming out with can potentially do catastrophic damage to friendships and relationships or even destroy them completely. It’s a curse of a burden to bear, which is why I find movies like ’13 Going on 30′ so incredibly difficult to watch (more on the blog - link in bio)
I’m at the mind-bendingly lush Harris & Hoole coffee shop at Tesco Extra just before Christmas, quietly considering whether I’d like to select drowning in their cappuccinos as my chosen method of death, when one of the two guys sitting at the table next to me leans across to his mate and says something that actually makes me spill some of my coffee into the saucer. He says:
The original cover for my 2008 funny pirate fantasy novel, Davey Swag (published in the UK by Hodder).
“It’s Davey from Blockbuster in Ramsgate: store code 260116. I’d like to place a large stock order, please.”

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