‘Dave, don’t look around now….but I think the man by the stairs might be my father.’ If these words had come from anybody else, it would have been an incredible, life-changing moment, one of those moments that you always remember….like you’re always going to remember the day Cliff Richard finally goes bad and knocks over a post office. But the words have come from Dean, and – as my friends go – he’s not the most emotionally stable horse in the paddock. Dean thinks everyone is his father, and I feel for him: I really do. I grew up in single parent family with no dad around, and although there were odd times when I could have maybe benefited from a father and son chat, I certainly never felt in any way deprived of some great advantage.
Nostalgia can be a curse and to prove it I’ve created a list of five times in my life that I made a decision I’ve always slightly regretted. I’m calling it ‘My Five Biggest Regrets’ but the title is a bit misleading. Creating a list like this is a really important thing to do and if you’re going to get it right then you have to be constructive and try to determine whether in all probability you’re either right or wrong in each case. What do YOU regret? It’s a killer question. If the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions, then I strongly suspect that the Path to Dissatisfaction is paved with overly nostalgic memories, especially ones involving missed opportunities. If you’re autistic, an overthinker or even just an unusually reflective person, then the retrospective analysis is probably a huge part of your mental landscape. In simple terms, retrospective analysis is where you overplay conversations in your head after the event, often applying your own biased narrative to anything that was said. What you end up coming out with can potentially do catastrophic damage to friendships and relationships or even destroy them completely. It’s a curse of a burden to bear, which is why I find movies like ’13 Going on 30′ so incredibly difficult to watch.
Disclaimer: this post – Among Us – was written at Westwood Cross back in 2014 BEFORE the Iceland Warehouse Supermarket moved in at a time when the world was very different. For a start, crimes were things like theft and assault, not meeting your friends or visiting your nan’s house without a passport. Nevertheless, this happened pretty much exactly as I’ve described it…
I’m at the mind-bendingly lush Harris & Hoole coffee shop at Tesco Extra just before Christmas, quietly considering whether I’d like to select drowning in their cappuccinos as my chosen method of death, when one of the two guys sitting at the table next to me leans across to his mate and says something that actually makes me spill some of my coffee into the saucer. He says: ‘We have to stop Luke killing people.’
“It’s Davey from Blockbuster in Ramsgate: store code 260116. I’d like to place a large stock order, please.”
It’s a Thursday morning, rain is pouring over Ramsgate and I’m on an early shift at Blockbuster Video. I’m really miserable: I’ve had a terrible night with very little sleep, and I’m on my own for the first hour of the shift. The sky is dark, people are running up and down King Street trying to get out of the rain and there’s even a few rumbles of thunder suddenly being thrown into the mix.
This lovely photograph was taken during our first trip to Euro Disney. It’s a great picture, and I think it shows just how happy we were and what a great time we had there. If you look carefully, you can see that all three of us are seriously LOVING Mickey Mouse Land: myself, my wife and our best friend, Goodshot.
Ramsgate is an old town, and old towns have old stories. As time goes on, you hear all the ones people want you to hear: great moments, town heroes, wartime memories, etc. There’s some you don’t hear so much, these days and I’m talking about the heady mix of bullshit and bitter that used to fly around the pubs during the eighties: legends like Jim Scarridge, a man known as ‘The Blade’.
WARNING: Do try anything you see here at home or at work. If you ever get into a situation where you’re thinking about duplicating events you’ve read about on Bloke Called Dave, you should IMMEDIATELY contact a health professional and attempt to get past those rude cretins who work on reception at such places in order to keep you out. You know, the ones who speak to you as if you’ve only phoned up for an appointment in order to psychologically p*ss on their cornflakes.
We’re having a really enjoyable family afternoon at The Maize Maze on the Quex Park Complex in Birchington when I slowly begin to realize that I’m getting into a bit of psychological trouble…
Are you lonely? Does it ever feel almost like you’re living outside your own life? According to a fairly recent school of thought, you might be doing just that. Robin Williams once famously said: “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”