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Bloke Called Dave

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Author: David Lee Stone

Writer guy. I wrote The Illmoor Chronicles (Disney/Hodder 2003-2007), Davey Swag (Hodder 2008), Gladiator Boy (Hodder/Penguin 2009-2010), Undead Ed (Hodder/Penguin 2011-2012) and Outcasts (Hodder Worldwide 2014-2016).
The Vegas Nerve

The Vegas Nerve

Posted on March 27, 2021March 27, 2021 by David Lee Stone

Here comes a true story: like all true stories, it’s shockingly unbelievable. I’ll tell you this in two ‘bites’ – starting with what happened LAST and moving on to what went down half an hour before….

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The Blade

The Blade

Posted on March 26, 2021 by David Lee Stone

Ramsgate is an old town, and old towns have old stories. As time goes on, you hear all the ones people want you to hear: great moments, town heroes, wartime memories, etc. There’s some you don’t hear so much, these days and I’m talking about the heady mix of bullshit and bitter that used to fly around the pubs during the eighties: legends like Jim Scarridge, a man known as ‘The Blade’.

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White Dwarf October 1989

Chasing the White Dwarf

Posted on March 25, 2021March 30, 2021 by David Lee Stone

It’s October 1989 and I’m in my second month at St. George’s School on Westwood Road in Broadstairs. I haven’t been beaten up or bullied yet and the entire secondary school experience is still relatively new and exciting. There are so many amazing bikes, so many new potential friends and so many GIRLS….but I’m not interested in racing bikes, making new friends OR asking out girls (which is very fortunate as I’m going to turn out to be TERRIBLE at those things).

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Inversions

Inversions…

Posted on March 24, 2021 by David Lee Stone

WARNING: Do try anything you see here at home or at work. If you ever get into a situation where you’re thinking about duplicating events you’ve read about on Bloke Called Dave, you should IMMEDIATELY contact a health professional and attempt to get past those rude cretins who work on reception at such places in order to keep you out. You know, the ones who speak to you as if you’ve only phoned up for an appointment in order to psychologically p*ss on their cornflakes.

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Walkabout

Walkabout

Posted on March 24, 2021 by David Lee Stone

We’re having a really enjoyable family afternoon at The Maize Maze on the Quex Park Complex in Birchington when I slowly begin to realize that I’m getting into a bit of psychological trouble…

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smoking frogs

Smoking Frogs

Posted on March 24, 2021 by David Lee Stone

This is my son, Sebastian. He’s a cute, squishy little monster…..but sometimes he does things that are just a bit out of left field. Here’s one recent example…

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Are You Lonely?

Posted on March 23, 2021 by David Lee Stone

Are you lonely? Does it ever feel almost like you’re living outside your own life? According to a fairly recent school of thought, you might be doing just that. Robin Williams once famously said: “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”

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Dear Geoffrey from Rainbow

Dear Geoffrey From Rainbow…

Posted on March 23, 2021March 30, 2021 by David Lee Stone

I found a letter in my attic the other day: it was written by myself, aged either five or six. The spelling wasn’t great, but when corrected it basically read: Dear Geoffrey from Rainbow, I am worried about you because I watch you every day and you are my friend and I have to tell you that there is a man inside Bungle did you know this do not say anything to Bungle in case he gets angry and the man comes out I never want you to die. Love from David Stone from Ramsgate.

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The Last Day

The Last Day

Posted on March 22, 2021March 22, 2021 by David Lee Stone

I can remember the first and the last time I ever went in there: the first as an 8-year-old kid and the second as a 22-year-old man gaffer-taped to a wheelie chair.

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butt-out-anti-smoking-blog

Butt Out

Posted on March 21, 2021 by David Lee Stone

I grew up in a family of smokers who smoked in between smokes. My mum was the lesser of the these: she only smoked Superkings and bought them in packs of twenty at the local shop. When she couldn’t get Superkings, she would smoke other brands but the fact that she needed to get them from the shop did at least mean she didn’t smoke constantly.

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Sometimes, I make big mistakes…..but they’re never my fault: not really. Here’s an example, so you can judge for yourself.
Do you want to see what depression looks like? I recently found this video I shot while experiencing one of the worst bouts of depression I’ve endured in recent years. It’s almost funny to see how dead in the eyes I am until the light comes on and I engage robot mode in order to speak. The content of the video isn’t really important. Oh - and my wife is AMAZING. ❤️🤦‍♂️
Nostalgia can be a curse and to prove it I’ve created a list of ten times in my life that I made a decision I’ve always slightly regretted. This is a really important thing to do and if you’re going to do it right then you have to be constructive and try to determine whether in all probability you’re either right or wrong in each case. I’m serious. If the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions, then I strongly suspect that the Path to Dissatisfaction is paved with overly nostalgic memories, especially ones involving missed opportunities. If you’re autistic, an over-thinker or even just an unusually reflective person, then retrospective analysis is probably a huge part of your mental landscape. In simple terms, retrospective analysis is where you overplay conversations in your head after the event, often applying your own biased narrative to anything that was said. What you end up coming out with can potentially do catastrophic damage to friendships and relationships or even destroy them completely. It’s a curse of a burden to bear, which is why I find movies like ’13 Going on 30′ so incredibly difficult to watch (more on the blog - link in bio)
I’m at the mind-bendingly lush Harris & Hoole coffee shop at Tesco Extra just before Christmas, quietly considering whether I’d like to select drowning in their cappuccinos as my chosen method of death, when one of the two guys sitting at the table next to me leans across to his mate and says something that actually makes me spill some of my coffee into the saucer. He says:
The original cover for my 2008 funny pirate fantasy novel, Davey Swag (published in the UK by Hodder).
“It’s Davey from Blockbuster in Ramsgate: store code 260116. I’d like to place a large stock order, please.”

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